Scene 7: Holiday Hurts

Thanksgiving was upon us. I own the T-Day in my family. We all take turns hosting holidays and somehow Thanksgiving became mine. I love cooking and having people over. It's always a great day with lots of food, laughter and Pictionary. We do not play about our Pictionary, understand? Folks have almost come to blows about drawing and guessing! But I digress!

Since he had not been home since July, we were discussing whether or not he would be able to make it home. He had been traveling a lot with the military and so we weren't really sure if he could make it. 

I so wanted him to come here. I hadn't seen him in months and I was anxious to see if things were going to be different when he got here. I wasn't sure of anything anymore, except that I believed we were going to be alright once he retired and came home. 

He had planned to come home but work kept him from making definitive plans. He wasn't sure if he would be back in the states in time and so I was up and down, back and forth. Finally he said he wasn't going to make it. Then he was. 

Anyway, Thanksgiving Day he arrives home, I rush out to the car to greet him and I can tell in his eyes that something was wrong. He tried to mask it but I could see that he was disappointed in something. I don't think he was disappointed to see me. More that he was expecting that when he got out of the car and saw me that everything would turn normal again. That his confused feelings would go away and there would be extra sunlight or something. Whatever he was looking for was not there and we both knew it. 

I ran up to my room and cried. I remember saying to God, "I thought you said everything was going to be ok!" and not getting a response. 

I had people coming so I had to get it together quickly. It was tense and weird and after the holiday was done and everyone was gone we lay in bed trying to talk. But I knew something was so very wrong. 

He left the next day and I would not see him in person for another 5 months after that Black Friday morning. 

Did I still have hope? Of course I did. I still believed that once he retired and came home everything would eventually get righted. I did still have faith in what God had said. I still believed that this rough patch would get made smooth again. It was a good marriage. It could survive this. It would have to or I was going to lose everything.

Back soon.