Hi ho hi ho and off to work he went. When he left, everything between us was a decent status quo. We reiterated how much we loved each other. We talked about the things that were between us and we really knew that he just needed to retire and come on home. It was going to take some time but that was the plan.
He was going to end whatever was or was not going on with this woman. Although he repeated again and again that there was nothing to "end". Nothing ever got started. Ok I can work with that.
So how come a month or so later he was telling me that he wanted to go ahead and get a divorce? What the...? I really just didn't know what to do, so I started to write. I wrote about being knocked down and getting back up. And I wrote it from a Christian perspective. I knew that prayer was the only thing that was going to keep my sanity.
These writings led me to start a blog Fanning the Flames of Faith which I used to process all of these feelings of hurt, anger, resentment, hope and everything. Check it out sometime, but be sure you start from the beginning (August 2009).
Anyway...I still don't know what happened when he got back to work. Hadn't I convinced him that we were going to be okay? Didn't we leave things in a good place? What happened? He got back and saw her and all of that went out the window?
Well I had already decided that I wasn't giving up right? I told him that we weren't going to talk divorce. I told him that I was going to give him all the space he needed. No pressure, just take the time he needed to get his head right.
As for me, I'll be praying and writing.
See you back here soon.
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